Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Randomize
