Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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