im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
