i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
