After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
