What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize