I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
