i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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