no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
