Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
