We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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