I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
