In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
