Soap is not a condiment
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
