using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Randomize