Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
