She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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