"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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