....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Dick very happy bro
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize
