Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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