Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
