maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
