It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
