Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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