Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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