I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I am mentally ready for anal.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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