Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
