So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
