I need help removing her.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
