I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
