I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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