i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
