Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
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