Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
