I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
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