oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
