Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
We're not piercing ourselves today.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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