Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Randomize
