You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
