Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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