Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
