Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
