My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
