I got chris browned last night
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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