I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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