My entire life is one complicated drinking game
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
