how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I understand Curling. That high.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
