So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
