The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
