Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
