He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
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