I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
