since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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