Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize