My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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