whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
