You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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