I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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