just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
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